Our child's "forest picnic" birthday celebration

This year, we were forced to stay home by the pandemic. Shaking hands and hugging are discouraged. Social distancing or rather physical distancing is encouraged. Gatherings are prohibited. And so, many of us are left celebrating at the confines of our home and not able to invite family and friends over.

Even without the pandemic though, me and my husband already knew how we will celebrate our child’s first birthday. We wanted it to be simple with just a few kids around. We wanted for him a simple, small, specifically tailored for children event where they can truly have fun while being mindful of their need for rest.

A “forest” picnic at our backyard with the sound of the chirping birds was the bes t option since we cannot yet go to the beach. We planned for an event where:

- There are no balloons because we are trying to raise an environment-conscious child. We want to normalize not having balloons in our celebrations. Even our wedding did not include balloons. Whilst we cannot fully get rid of plastics in our life, we are trying to remove the non-essential plastics especially those that can only be used once and cannot be recycled.

- We don’t buy materials that can only be used once such as tarpaulins. The ONE banner was passed on to us by a friend whose son used it for his first birthday. We were more than happy to use it for our mini-tent set up. Also, in the future if we ever buy party decorations, we will either use it on several occasions or pass them on to others to maximize its use and minimize purchases of new ones.

- The food table is low enough so that every child regardless of age can independently access the food and choose what they like without needing help from an adult. I used recycled boxes covered with old curtains as our food table because we don’t have tables low enough for the kids. The empty boxes worked well, though unfortunately I wasn’t able to take a photo of the set up.

- Various toys and books for all ages are provided so every child can freely choose what to play with or read.

- An area is available for them to lay down or rest whenever they feel tired.

- They can help in some of the preparations while exercising their creativity and having fun. I let them help in arranging the flowers that will be placed on the food table.

- The food includes healthy options presented in an appealing way. In fact, the party was so simple we only served fried chicken, pancit, cake, and fruit barbeque.

I baked our child’s sugar-free birthday cake so he can actually eat it as much as he likes. During this pandemic, I baked a lot as was everybody else I think. At first, I thought of ordering a fancy cake from an established baker but a cake can be extremely expensive, which is understandable because it takes so much time and effort to make one. I wasn’t keen on spending that much money for his birthday cake and also, we only really need a simple cake that we all can enjoy so I decided to bake it myself instead.

I also baked cake for the adults who weren’t invited because we only invited their kids. I baked 10 cakes to be given to every family and let their kids put on the icing. They had fun designing their cake as much as we had fun watching them get creative!

Our hope is for our child to grow up valuing relationships and experiences more than the glamour of an overly decorated party. This isn’t to say that throwing a huge party is wrong. I mean, why not if you have that much money. What we hope for is to normalize simple celebrations in our family, whilst also hoping others would be inspired and get the pressure of throwing huge parties off of their shoulders. I know some people who feel sad thinking they failed as parents because they cannot give their kids fancy parties and that’s what we hope to change, to assure them that whether you can afford it or not, it’s okay to celebrate as family in the simplest way possible.

Someday, maybe next year even, our child will get to have a say or decide on how he will want to celebrate his birthday. Hey may opt for a huge party or just the three of us, we’ll see. For now, we designed his first birthday celebration in such a way that he can truly enjoy his day and not get stressed out by being carried and passed on by lots of guests which is usually the case with adult-led parties. I’ve attended huge toddler parties and I noticed that some kids were forced sit on the adult’s laps for photo ops even if they were already tired or sleepy. We didn’t want that for our child. It’s his birthday so we wanted it to be relaxing and fun for him. There was no long, tiresome photo shoots which is also why we didn’t have much photos taken on that day because we were busy having fun.

Lastly, the budget that we would have spent on a huge birthday party (or his monthsary celebration) was used to renovate a former storage space into a playhouse which was actually a better way to spend because our son, and our cousins, are able to benefit from the playhouse for several years to come.

Renovating an old storage space into a playhouse

We have this space at the ground floor of our ancestral home we call “pinsa”. It was used by our grandparents in the olden days as storage space for farm harvests and farm machinery. Then it became a storage space for anything broken or empty that we cannot throw thinking they might still be of any other use. It’s a typical Filipino trait, keeping even empty jam jars or empty cookies cans.

 

After I gave birth, we decided to live at our ancestral home so we can raise our child in a rural environment, away from the noise and pollution of the city. We had our pinsa cleaned, and used it as our hangout place. We would take naps there on a hammock, or work because it’s cooler than anywhere else in the house. 

 

Then our child began to watch TV. We gave him freedom of movement, allowed him to choose his own activities, and enabled him independent play. Sadly, whenever a certain sound from the TV would capture his interest, he would stop playing and start watching. We value and protect focus and concentration so much so that whenever he is focused on something, we would wait before we talk to him. We also kept him away from gadgets so we were concerned when he started to watch TV for a longer stretch of time. We knew we had to find him another space to play away from the TV as we cannot turn it off when others are watching.

 

At first, we were hesitant to spend on the renovation of our pinsa. But then I thought, I left law school to be a stay-at-home mom so I can personally look after our child and ensure he is given lots of opportunities to independently move and explore, and be raised in a loving, gentle, respectful way so why have second thoughts on spending money to keep our child off the screen? I mean, I can earn that money again but I cannot bring back our son’s childhood. So the renovation began...

 

After over a month of work, our 40 sqm pinsa which used to be a dusty, messy, old place transformed into a beautiful playhouse. I particularly loved the combination of the modern design, and the antique wooden beams. I only see this on Pinterest before but now we are actually spending most of our time in it. Join us over at Instagram – follow @momofeverychild – if you’re interested to be part of our journey of living at an ancestral home with a mini-forest, and surrounded by lots of birds and animals, together with our Siberian husky named Skye.

 

Right now the playhouse is "Christmassy" because Christmas if my favorite time of the year. I grew up enjoying the sight of Christmas lights and Christmas decors. Sometimes, whenever I'm sad, I would think of Christmas and I'd feel better. I'm hoping our child will grow up having the same feelings about Christmas.

 

We had child-sized furniture made to ensure our child and other children can easily access the sink or get their toys. In Montessori, it's essential that toys and other materials are made accessible for children so they can choose their toys and activities themselves. When our child is of the right age and shows interest, we will put our oven there too so we can bake together. Right now our sink is still a bit high for our son. We had it made that way so he won't keep playing with water. He'll be able to comfortably use this when he's a bit older and is already able to understand that we shouldn't waste water.

We also had his table and chairs made so he can sit their comfortably. The table is low enough so children can access food themselves. When we had a small family gathering last Christmas, I was so happy to see my 2-year old cousin serving herself with food for the first time. She looked at every food on the table and helped herself to some serving of those she liked. That is the kind of independence we want our son to enjoy.

We dedicated one corner as his reading and napping nook. This is my favorite part of his playhouse because it has an outdoor view and there's a mango tree across from it where the collared kingfishers frequently hop. It's so relaxing here that the adults decided to put up not one but two hammocks!  

The playhouse has a toilet with a child-sized furniture and tiny toilet bowl. We had the floor designed this way so it won’t be slippery for children. And it’s got a nice outdoor view for the adults to enjoy too. 

 

We also bought child-sized house stuff like this broom that only cost P25, garden tools and others. These are easy to use independently by our child without frustration because they're small. We are still on the lookout for other child-sized materials so will be happy to get any recommendations.

I bought most of the stuff in our playhouse from Shopee. Send me a message over at Instagram @momofeverychild if you want to know the seller of a particular item. We are also on Facebook at Mom of Every Child where I share parenting, family, relationships, mindfulness, healthy living and other interesting articles. And if you're interested to see how our pinsa looked before we renovated it, I'll be posting its gradual transformation at our Youtube Channel once I'm done editing because I'm only really able to work when my child is asleep, so please bear with this momma.

Our "playhouse veranda" is not yet done so it's not pictured. Also, my husband and siblings like to hangout and work here too so I dumped their stuff at one corner (not pictured). This playhouse has much more space once those are done and the stuff organized.

Birding: My Quarantine Hobby

The novel coronavirus caught us all off guard. All of a sudden, we found ourselves locked up in our homes for months. I feel for those who live in the middle of mega cities, in small condo units or apartments with no access to nature for some “unwinding time”. Fortunately for me, I live in our ancestral home in a rural area surrounded by trees it feels as though we live in the midst of a mini-forest.

At the onset of this pandemic, I found myself often anxious. I kept reading the news and checking the number of cases. I constantly worry for my son because he is still very young, his regular vaccines are not even completed yet. I knew I needed to rise above my paranoia because I have to protect my son’s psyche and me being in that state will negatively affect him too. Children can absorb our energies. 

So, I found solace in birding.

We have lots of birds around. Listening to them has been a part of all my waking hours. Last April though I began to seriously pay them the attention they deserved. Inspired by someone I follow on Instagram, I started birding using my DSLR camera. We’d often go for an afternoon walk with our son anyway so I asked hubby to look after our son while I excitedly look for and chase birds. They are everywhere! In fact, they are regular guests of the pomelo tree across my working table so I would place the camera on that table for easy grab in case there are birds I’d want to look at closely. 

I found that birding, looking at birds very closely through a binocular or in my case a DSLR camera, is a totally different experience than just watching them with our naked eye. I saw a collared kingfisher hop on a mango tree and found nothing special about it until I looked at it through my camera and saw its magnificent dark blue feathers, its huge beak, its overall grandeur. And it’s beautiful! Another yellow bird I have yet to know the name looks so tiny but when I saw it through my camera, I found that the black feathers on its neck would actually glisten and turns blue when it moves. Watching it makes me extra giddy! 

I also discovered that the Asian Glossy Starling have red eyes! I didn’t know it before I used my camera. It looks so pretty with its black feathers accented by its red eyes. They’d usually hop high up on the coconut tree so until now I have not taken a good shot of them with the limited reach of my camera lens. 

“Birding made me live in the present moment.”

Aside from getting to see the details of the birds’ physical appearance, I gained lots of benefits from birding. In searching for birds, I became more attuned with the present moment. The usual clutters of my mind would tend to disappear because I would focus on listening intently for any sign that there is one nearby. It also enabled me to move more. Our usual walk is short but if I’m birding, I tend to walk much farther and much longer, sometimes until twilight.  

“Birding is meditative.”

Birding brought me a different kind of joy. It’s meditative in a sense that my eyes and ears are focused on finding them instead of my mind just drifting away at times, unconscious of the sight and sound around. As a result, I became more relaxed afterwards. 

It is such a privilege for me to have this kind of environment and activity at a time when the uncertainties and fears brought by this pandemic tend to paralyze us.

Wherever you are right now, I hope you are finding hobbies and activities that can divert your mind from this predicament that we are all in. For some, it can be extremely challenging to stay positive but now more than ever we need to protect our mental health. 

May we find joy in the tiniest of blessings and the simplest of things.