My university is Hogwarts!

Being a Harry Potter fanatic, the only thing I had high expectations from my move to Sydney is the Great Hall of the University of Sydney which according to rumors looks very much like the Great Hall of Hogwarts. Today my long wait was finally realised because our International Students Welcome was held at USyd’s Great Hall.

I was awe-struck. The Great Hall lived up my expectations, even far exceeded it. If only I brought my DSLR, I would have been able to capture its details. On its ceiling’s vault stood angels in a row holding something like a book. There were also students who wore a uniform that resembles that of Slytherin! Actually, let these photos speak for itself, although they won’t give justice to USyd’s beautiful architecture.

Structural beauty aside, the main highlight of my day was the speech from Professor Tyrone Carlin, Deputy Vice Chancellor (Registrar). He started by allowing us a moment to digest the fact that despite thousands of people who want to be in graduate school, we in that hall are lucky enough to get into the University of Sydney, one of the world’s best universities and ranked 37th in the 2013 QS World University Rankings.

He emphasised the importance of balance between studies and other aspects of life. Whilst other teachers would push students to study harder, he encouraged us go out to develop friendships and participate in activities be it in school or outside. He shared his own experience of going through Law School but getting out of it with no friends which was perhaps his greatest regret as a student.

His speech reminded me of Omar and Marc who were both undertaking their master’s degree on water resources engineering at the Katholieke Universiteit, the leading university in Belgium. While serious about their studies, they also did a lot of fun activities such as playing badminton, attending parties, going out with friends, cooking and spending long dinners over good conversations. It will not be a surprise if people would think they did more fun than study. But guess what? They both graduated cum laude (with honor)!

Basically, to survive grad school, one needs to play!

New life down under

It was only when I was already on the plane to Sydney that it started to sink in that I am moving here. Having gone through many ups and downs, I did not expect much of what my life will be like here.

I left home on Friday at 6:30 and arrived in my new home in Sydney Saturday at 13:15. It was a tiresome trip from 30 degrees to 15 degrees. My body felt frozen but I still managed to grab groceries. I was ecstatic to find out that my area has a lot of Thai restaurants – I’ve passed by at least 6 of them – as well as Thai massage. The area is actually very Asian as most restaurants are either Thai, Chinese, Korean, Japanese or Vietnamese. But because I just came from Bangkok and my roommate Lavina from Taipei, we opted for Japanese food. I fell asleep at 20:30 still holding my phone.

I woke up Sunday feeling energised. Since Lavina has only a week in Sydney before moving to Macquarie University, we decided to be tourists for a day. We were lucky the weather was pleasant, sunny and not too cold. And on top of that, my place is close to the Sydney Harbour, just 10 minutes through a free bus! How cool is that?!

Our first stop was at The Rocks along Sydney Harbour. It is known as the land of the Gadigal people and the first place of European settlement in Australia. During weekends there are stalls all over the streets selling various products so it is fun to walk around. There were also musicians playing soothing songs and instrumental. From there you can get a good view of the Opera House and Harbour Bridge.

We had lunch at Phillip’s Foote, a hidden gem within busy The Rocks established in 1975. The restaurant is a bit hidden behind a pub, we would not have found it had Lavina not seen the ad on steak at $40 for two to commemorate their 40 years anniversary. We loved discovering this restaurant. With trees and plants around, you can’t ask for a better ambiance after a long day of walking. And their steak was just delicious. You have to grill it yourself which was an added fun.

After lunch we went to the Opera House and walked to the Royal Botanic Garden. This park is huge; a perfect place to chill out when readings and essays will begin to drown me. Across the park is the State Library of NSW. When I saw the library, my heart skipped a beat. I can’t believe I live close to everything that nurtures my soul!

From SLNSW we walked to St. Mary’s Cathedral the prettiest church I’ve been to next to Westminster Abbey in London. It was amusing though because just outside the cathedral there was an ice skating rink which I bet was only for the weekend.

Across St. Mary’s Cathedral is Hyde Park, another good place to relax. From there we walked back, dropped by the dirty market to grab fruits and headed home.

I had a dynamic life in Bangkok but moving to Sydney was a huge change, I still can’t help but feel uneasy. All I did in the plane when fear started to creep in was meditate. I told myself to live in the moment and deal with whatever challenges that will come with calmness and kindness. I let my expectations low so that I will be less disappointed. And as it turned out, the universe seemed to be conspiring to grant more than what I could hope for a home away from home including housemates that I am now so fond of. I can only wish Lavina will stay longer coz other than she is the sweetest, she also brings the vibe of positive change, new beginnings and adventures. But short was our time together I am grateful we found each other; two kick-ass women plunging into an ocean of risks and possibilities.

Decluttering and rediscovering old notes

“Discard everything that does not spark joy”, says Marie Kondo the Japanese organizing consultant and author who promotes decluttering to – what I believe – keep our sanity.

I read about Kondo’s art of decluttering in January 6, which was a perfect time to start 2015 afresh. I particularly like the inspiration behind her tidying obsession. It started after her years of work at the Shinto Shrine which taught her that a place without unnecessary things provides clarity in the mind.

The weekend after I read her article, I started cleaning up my room. I didn’t realize how much I have accumulated until I threw three trash bags! I threw even items that I hold with sentimental value but which I think I would not carry when I move out of Thailand. I also found many items that I bought but didn’t use even once. And indeed it felt great, really great afterwards. It was a therapeutic process, a sort of environment and mind detox.

But now that I am definitely moving out of Thailand and will have to carry only 30 kilos of stuff with me, I appreciated even more the lifestyle of living with less stuff. This reminds me of the book Wild by Cheryl Strayed which says, “I was amazed that what I needed to survive could be carried on my back. And, most surprisingly of all, that I can carry it.”
I shipped my most important stuff home, especially my books which occupied half of the package. What remained are stuff I need to bring to Australia, some to be given and some more to be thrown. As I rummaged through, I found my favorite organizer, a gift from my cousin Carmela in 2009. I also found my old notebooks. I realized I spent so much time scribbling on my first 3 years in Thailand. Reading what I wrote made me smile. Sometimes I even forgot why I wrote them. Some reminded me of special moments.

The remaining 3 years brisked before my eyes and I don’t have notes to remind me of them. I cursed myself for not documenting random thoughts or memorable moments. I now vow to write everyday even just snippets.

It’s funny to read my new year’s resolution 6 years ago. All of them I failed to do. And all of them still hold true at present. I will try to fulfill them this time around even though it’s already mid-year. I also found Bible verses I wrote on 2 January:

“Laziness plunges a man into deep sleep, and the sluggard must go hungry.” Proverbs 19:15

“Four things are among the smallest on the earth, and yet are exceedingly wise.
Ants, a species not strong yet they stove up their food in the summer;
Rock-budgers, a species not mighty, yet they make their homes in the crags;
Locusts, they have no king, yet they migrate all in array;
Lizards, you can catch them with your hands, yet they find their way into king’s palaces.” Proverbs 30:24-28

In the day when our life comes to the point of change

This week has been extremely draining. The worse is it’s not because I am busy with work but because I am in the middle of a huge change. I have exactly 2 weeks left in the office and in Bangkok. After which I will spend 2 weeks on vacation back home in the Philippines before flying to Australia to start graduate school.

Today I could not work. I am sick, actually. My brain cannot – do not want to — function. I am in a mixed emotion between separation anxiety and metathesiophobia which is ironic because people know me as a risk-taker and one who dreads routine.

A friend posted a video of my favorite Thai song on Facebook (the only Thai song I know, actually). I have been listening to this song for more than 2 years. I listen to it before I sleep. I listen to it in the taxi on my way to the airport, on the plane, and in my hotel room. I listen to it in my daily train ride if I am not reading a book. I listen to it at ungodly hours and unearthly places. It’s one of the only 12 songs I downloaded in my iPhone.

I first heard of it at the farewell dinner of one of the most important and instrumental persons in my life. How time flies. Now that person is back in Thailand and I am the one leaving. We will have dinner on Friday, probably our last. Whether our paths will cross again in the future, only God knows.

Did I say I have been listening to this song for more than 2 years? Then I must add that in those times I did not bother searching for its English translation. I have no idea why. But today, I did. Listen to the song below with both Thai and English subtitle.

And indeed, songs become more powerful when they speak to us and hit us to the core. This song did just that.

Books: Why I prefer paperback

Our generation has become rapidly digitalized. Nowadays many people read e-books, the digitization of the written word which began as early as 1971 through Project Gutenberg which was meant to archive cultural works. However, its popularity was not evident until 1993 when Peter James made his novel, Host, available on digital copy. So it took a novel for people to start embracing the concept of reading an e-book, huh.

Several of my friends have encouraged me to buy kindle. My answer was always a quick NO. Reading a book for me is “sacred” from smelling it to leafing through the pages and seeing progress in each chapter. It’s also my way of disconnecting from the internet. Reading e-books feels like I am still not fully disconnected from the digital world.

Through 6 years of living in Bangkok, I’ve hoarded a massive collection. I’m not into shopping so my place doesn’t have much stuff except books. I’ve grown attached to each one of them that against my friend’s suggestion to sell them, I decided to ship them all home.

Reading e-books has its advantages but since I haven’t read one, I am not the right person to comment. I do know that you can carry hundreds and thousands of books in just about 7-13 ounce, 4×7 inch e-readers.

While reading e-books has its advantages, studies show that reading paperbacks is better. The Guardian reports that based on a new Europe-wide research, readers absorb less on Kindles than on paper. The research found that, “the haptic and tactile feedback of a Kindle does not provide the same support for mental reconstruction of a story as a print pocket book does”.

TIME also highlighted the benefits of reading a “real” book stating it increases intelligence, boosts brain power, improves empathy, helps fight Alzheimer’s disease, helps you sleep among others.

I spent hundreds of dollars shipping all my books home but it’s all worth it. Those books will not only remind me of the wonderful time we shared in Bangkok, they are also treasures I can share with my future family (if I ever get married).

3AM meetup and life on the edge

I have this impulsive habit my friends call “Cambodia syndrome”. It was during my annual leave in June 2014 that I woke up at 9AM and declared I will go to Cambodia. All I did was check if there is a train scheduled to Aranyaprathet, a province in eastern Thailand that borders with Cambodia, then packed my bag and left. I didn’t know yet how to actually reach Siem Reap, where to stay or what exactly I should anticipate from the trip. I just wanted random things to happen without me making so much fuss planning about it. My close friends who know me well are aware how such a risk-taker I am. And I have lived life this way even before that trip to Cambodia.

View of my long train ride from Bangkok to Aranyaprathet

It was summer. I just finished my first year at uni. I went to my cousin’s birthday party. She told me about her school and how it looked like one in the telenovela, Meteor Garden, with its natural beauty and a beach at the lower campus. I went home, woke my mom from her nap and told her I will transfer to my cousin’s school. This is where I’m good at, running away.

After graduation, I went to apply for a job. I did not get in. The interviewer told me I have a different potential and may pose risks to the company (private). He said, “I don’t think you belong here. We invest money training our staff but you don’t seem to be the kind who would stay longer.” So much about being honest on one’s passion.

I went home feeling bad about the result. Although it may not have been because I am not good enough, still I took it against myself. I was on a hammock feeling bitter when suddenly I thought about coming to Thailand. I chose Thailand because 1) I did not need a visa 2) It is geographically well-positioned in the region 3) I have this beautiful image of Thailand in my head – glistening temples, monks meditating – and it has a vibrant, friendly society. In less than a week I flew to Thailand. I told myself I will stay for just one year, work on whatever decent job I can get, explore the country, mend my chaotic and confused heart, get a headspace and decide which direction I want to take, then leave.

Six years after, I found myself having trouble getting around the fact that I am leaving Thailand in 8 weeks from now. This country that cradled me, the country now I call home, how can I be leaving it already?

I’m moving to Australia for grad school at the University of Sydney, another impulse of mine. With the little time I have left, I juggled between finishing work, putting my life of 6 years into boxes, making arrangements in Sydney and meeting friends.

Last Sunday, I told my friend Art that I’m leaving and it would be nice to see him. This man being a troll told me we can meet 3AM at Burger King (open 24 hrs). Perhaps he didn’t know who he was talking with. Of course I agreed and he suffered from his own trap! It was an amusing experience though, meeting at 3AM! Like, who would do that? Although what started as amusing ended up to be embarrassing for me, having to meet his mom at his house who must have been thinking what kind of a woman would allow a meetup at a wee hour.

I left his home at 6AM and walked to Benchasiri Park. I guess about an hour walk can only get you numb for a minute. And then a pang… wrench.

It was when it started to sink in that I was leaving, for real. I’ve been living life on the edge; always going beyond my comfort zone. Thailand has become a comfort zone and this was probably why I decided it’s time to leave, among other reasons. But why has it become this hard?

I guess it’s because my spontaneity has led me here, a country where I had a life all by myself away from the shield of my family; a country where I battled with my own demons; a country that opened my eyes to a vast horizon; a country that showed me the beauty of imperfections, the possibility of new beginnings. It’s the country where I met the person who makes saying goodbye the hardest.

Want to be spontaneous? For once, try to let go of fears and just go somewhere for some adventures. All you have to do is identify certain places or countries you want to visit, check and book cheap accommodations HERE then off you go. Oh of course, once you find cheap places to stay you also have to book your flights if you need to fly. Enjoy the uncertainty!

Why I fell in love with Bhutan

I was on cloud nine for seven days while in Bhutan. It took me another seven days to recover and get down to reality.

I can’t remember exactly how I got drawn to Bhutan. But I can recall watching a documentary and was captivated by the scenery. I also read about the Gross National Happiness, a concept very unique to Bhutan as it was the idea of His Majesty the Fourth King Jigme Singye Wangchuck. GNH speaks volumes of how Bhutanese value spiritual and well-being over economic progress or worldly materialism.

So why have I fallen in love with this Kingdom? Let me try hard to put it into words.

Up in the sky, Bhutan will greet you and bid adieu with exhilarating panorama of the Himalayas and snow-capped mountains. If you are flying from Bangkok, make sure you get a window seat on the left row (right from Paro).

Photo taken on flight from Paro to Bangkok

Usually, the drive from the airport to a city is dull and tiresome. It took us about 1 hour and 30 minutes from Paro to Thimphu. But nope, it was not boring at all because we drove along hills with lots of apple trees in bloom; I thought they were cherry blossoms. How about this old house above the riverbank?

Photo taken on the way back to Thimphu from Paro the day before my departure

I just loved to look at the fog-covered mountains. It’s the same sight I would marvel at on my journey to Punakha. But with the forest filled with blooming rhododendrons, I felt I was in Pandora. Remember Avatar?

Very few countries in the world can match the richness of Bhutan’s flora and fauna. Thanks to their serious environmental protection and conservation I enjoyed watching a monkey sitting on the side of the road; a huge colorful bird that hopped on a tree, I can only wish I knew its name. But when I saw the yaks (I had mistaken them for takins, Bhutan’s national animal and known to be an extremely rare mammal) I had to ask the driver to stop the car so I can run after them up in the hills.

I have this strong affinity with ruins. A lot of people find them uninteresting, lifeless. I find them full of wisdom, exuding aura of the ancient times. I’ve been to ruins in India, Cambodia, Thailand, Indonesia so I didn’t want to miss Drukgyel Dzong in Bhutan. I was dumbfounded. I have no words to describe and will rely on the cliche, “a picture paints a thousand words.”

Bhutan may be full of natural beauty but hey, the country is not just about that, it is full of art masterpieces too! In Punakha Dzong I have seen the world’s most magnificent temple. We were not allowed to take photos, sorry folks. I like it that way though, to keep its sanctity and solemnity. But here are some photos around Punakha Dzong showing very intricate designs.

 

 

I also had a bit of a shock when I saw penises, lots and lots of them, either painted on the walls of buildings and houses or carved on woods. My friend, understanding my amusement, explained that phallus is a religious symbol and is believed to ward off evil and brings good luck.

 

Above all these, what truly captured my heart are the people. The Bhutanese are very warm and hospitable people. They are calm and patient. Around them I feel so at ease, it must be because they emit positive energies. With them I was reminded to savor the moment and not rush through life.

On weekends they go out to play while most of the time I slack in front of the TV or drown on the internet. I passed by people playing different sports but when I saw an archery tournament, I let my driver have snacks so I can watch the game. I felt bad to have him wait at the car.

I’ve seen a lot of young Bhutanese hone their crafts at the 13 Traditional Arts School (Institute of Zorig Chusum). I learned that most students came from underprivileged families. The school is financed by the government including their board and lodging. I asked one boy why he got interested in tailoring. He said he wanted to be an international fashion designer. They may be poor but why do they look more content and happier than those rich kids who showcase fancy items out of mommy and daddy’s pocket?

 

 

I admire how spiritual Bhutanese are. You will see many of them turning the prayer wheels, both young and old. They have a prayer room in their house; light incense for each morning’s prayer. Prayer flags are found all over the place.

 

I rarely see Bhutanese who wear modern clothes. Most of them wear their traditional dress, gho for men and kira for women. This makes the cultural experience in Bhutan distinct because at this modern period, you will see how Bhutanese go about their daily lives the same way from many decades ago.

I have not seen nor experienced a wild nightlife similar to that in Bangkok during my whole stay in Bhutan. Although I did relish this stunning view of Tashichoo Dzong and Thimphu skyline.

 

In Bhutan I was able to reconnect on a deeper level with mother nature, with my spirituality and immerse into the quintessential of human connection that our technology-driven world has so often neglected.

And just like in temples where I was forbidden to take photos, my most memorable experiences with people very dear to me are beyond words. I will just let my heart keep it locked in until I come again.

More photos are available in my Facebook. Click here.

P.S. If you want to visit Bhutan, I recommend Almost Heaven travel agency. It’s owned by a friend so I can guarantee you are in safe hands. If you are in Bhutan, I encourage you to watch my friend’s latest film Kushuthara – Pattern of Love. And if you are a bookworm, then grab copies of Sonam Kinga’s books!

Smile with your eyes

I’ve always considered New Year as a symbol of hope and renewal. I welcomed 2015 with positive anticipation. And for the first time in six years, I get to spend it with my family. Unfortunately, as much as I wanted it to be my “kick-ass awesome year” ever, some things are just out of my hands. My yet to be resolved past mingled with dramatic changes in both my present and future professional and personal life.

If there is one word that can epitomise my life in the first quarter of 2015, it will be ESTUARY.

Amidst all these lies my resolve to empower myself.

Being a photography enthusiast — as you may have noticed from most of my Facebook and Instagram posts– I wanted this transitional stage in my life captured. This became more timely with my birthday turning me to the last year of my twenties.

As fate would have it, I bumped into the blog of Mia and saw her “Love you now, love you more after” photoshoot concept. Reading about this session felt like reading my thoughts on screen. She nailed what I had in mind.

“Smile with your eyes,” Mia asked me several times. It was my first professional photoshoot so I would have felt like a star in front of her lens. But no, all I had were unwelcomed thoughts flooding on me. I felt I was not okay yet. I didn’t want to pretend to be smiling sweetly but felt like in an emotional tornado inside – yep, going to Sydney in less than 3 months from now creeps me out like anything too. Change is always scary, huh! – The worst deception is that of our own self, indeed.

I was once asked what it is to be an empowered woman. My response was simple: an empowered woman is one who is able to make informed decisions for herself and is able to maximise her full potential.

And then it hit me.

An empowered woman is one who is able to celebrate her strength and vulnerability; embrace her brokenness and nurture her inner power; forgive her past and high five the future as she can’t be truly bothered by it yet because being in the present moment is paramount. Amidst any storm she will carry on. She will choose selfless love over possession and integrity over personal gains. She will not be crippled by discrimination, abandonment nor injustice. She will rise, speak and act. She will respect herself.

She will smile with her eyes.

Cheers to womanhood! And this may just be a kick-ass awesome year after all!

P.S. If you are in Bangkok and up for a photoshoot for yourself or your family, then Mia (photographer) and Erika (make-up artist) is the team for you. What makes them different from those in the studio is the personal touch. They make sure you are comfortable and they allow you to take your time. And they are sooo fun to be with too!

One step forward, two steps backward

Me in Pokhara, Nepal (January 2013)

I don’t understand people who complain about something without doing anything about it – not that I am an exemption, of course.

There was this person who kept ranting about how miserable his life is and that his life would have been this or that had the situation been this or that. Clearly, he has an idea of what “better life” looks like yet remains reluctant to take significant steps because his thoughts were fixated on the barriers rather than on creating opportunities.

Unfortunately, most of us don’t know the value of TIME. A Japanese colleague once said, “the only thing that is fair in this world is TIME; we all get the same amount.” This statement struck me because I myself struggle with making the most of my time. You know, like right now at 1:30AM, I am still wide awake instead of hitting the sack.

These days, the world seems to have fallen short of optimistic people. There is always something to complain about. And most often, nothing changes because we are scared to stretch our boundaries a little bit or step out of our comfort zones. The moment we set foot out of that comfort line, fear of uncertainties would penetrate every corner of our heart forcing us to sprint back. The sad thing is that, we don’t realize how often we do this and how much time we have wasted.

As the cliché says, we take one step forward and two steps backward. And we still wonder why we aren’t going anywhere.

Expectations are futile

It hurts when our expectations go in vain. But when the table is turned around and we are the ones being subjected to a certain degree of expectation we cannot meet, it hurts just the same.

Indeed, every individual is unique and different. Some things may just be okay for us and yet others may see them as wrong. We can never fully put ourselves into another person’s shoes. We can never fully feel what the other person is feeling nor see things exactly as they see them.

It is futile to suffer because we cannot wholly understand someone the same way as it is futile to agonize over not being completely understood.

In the end, it is really just a matter of letting go… letting go of expectations including the expectation to be understood.