A fairy-tale come true

A royal spring wedding is coming. The frenzy has just started and articles about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have inundated the internet even before their engagement was officially announced. I am one among millions of fans who eagerly read articles that came my way. Whilst many anticipate the wedding day with much gusto, excited to have a glimpse of the bridal gown and all, I am more excited about what Meghan –an advocate of many good things—can do as a princess.

I am a recent Suits fan. I’ve only watched the series few months ago. I’ve read articles about Prince Harry dating a Meghan Markle but didn’t care one bit until I realised the lady he was dating was Rachel Zane of Suits! I was all eyes since then. Being a law student, Rachel Zane inspired me in several ways which made the person behind the character interesting for me too so I started reading about Meghan and found that she is more amazing than Rachel Zane. My politics is aligned with hers – at least from what I’ve read thus far.

She is a feminist, humanitarian advocate and actively voices out issues facing the marginalized communities. Her experiences growing up as a mixed-race woman, having a black mother, and living in a white supremacist society obviously helped shape her consciousness as an advocate but it was her choice to use her standing in society to raise awareness and take action against social issues that made me admire her. I’d like to believe that her advocacy will not change once she becomes a princess but rather, the new role will provide her with better opportunities to continue her advocacy.

On a side note, the upcoming royal wedding undeniably made me nostalgic of the time I spent in London. I was volunteering with Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO) for three months in Newham, London in 2008. The experience though short opened my eyes to a different reality. I grew up thinking that rich countries like the UK don’t have to face problems experienced by third-world countries like the Philippines. This notion changed when I saw a beggar sleeping on the street in winter. And I’ve seen the same in Sweden too.

We were also told to not stay at the park late because some African volunteers in another community were assaulted by a ‘white gang’ of young people. I’ve met a refugee from Afghanistan who barely spoke English and was all by himself in London. We may have struggled with language but I did understand that he was missing his family so much.

We had one activity where we were to identify social problems in the UK and our British counterparts shared that neighbours barely talk or know each other; a stark contrast in the Philippines where everybody knows everybody even those from different towns. There was a need to get people to talk and inculcate that sense of community – at least in London. There were various youth centres available in Newham alone that catered to the needs of young people but not many youth came. Instead, you’d read articles about them getting into a fight or involved with drugs.

Every nation face problems unique to its society and culture but in the grand scheme of things, nations have more similarities than differences. Globalization and the increasing technological advances rapidly blur borders. Problems faced by one country likewise pose a set of complex problems to its neighbours and even those at a distance geographically. Now more than ever, there is a need to catalyse global citizenship and encourage cooperation among advocates. And this is the reason I am thrilled that Meghan Markle is going to enter the royal institution –the British monarchy at that. I hope she will become a unifying figure in our continuous battle for a better world. Her love life may be one we can call a fairy-tale come true –a modern Cinderella—but I hope that her story won’t end at the wedding like most fairy tales do but rather open a new chapter of a princess working hard to save lives and the Mother Earth.

Spontaneity led me to an unforgettable adventure

It was a day just like any other day that had gone by except that I woke up later than usual because I was on leave from work. I’ve spent the past days on meditation at a forest monastery and other me-time which comprised mostly of cleaning and organising my room whilst also doing some internal cleansing. I have four more days left before I go back to work and I had no idea what to do with those remaining days. It was during those bored moments that my impulsiveness struck again because the next thing I know, I was in a train going to Aranyaprathet where I’d cross the border to Cambodia.

The decision to travel to Siem Reap didn’t involve so much fuss. I just got up from bed, scroll on my Facebook newsfeed, and exclaimed “I’m going to Cambodia!” I didn’t see any Cambodia-related posts on Facebook. I just thought Cambodia is the nearest I could travel given that I only have four days to spend. All I did was check what time the train leaves from Bangkok to Aranyaprathet, packed and headed to the station. I was literally backpacking contrary to most of my travels which involved dragging a stroller to the airport, a pre-arranged pick-up and a booking to some five-star hotels. The change was a breath of fresh air. I was ecstatic!

It was the first time I travelled without doing any research. I didn’t know where I’d stay, how do I actually get to Siem Reap or how much it would all cost me. I just sat at the train and enjoyed the scenery. I’ve always loved long train rides. It gives me the chance to just live in the moment and soaked it all in, the scenery, the sounds, the smell of places we passed by.

We arrived in Aranyaprathet at about 5PM. I asked someone how to get to the border but I was having a hard time getting a ride. I was also concerned that evening was approaching and I didn’t know if there are places for me to stay for the night on the other side of the border. I decided to spend the night in Aranyaprathet instead. I found a place which only cost THB200 (approx. USD 6) though they didn’t have air-conditioning but at least there was an electric fan. I dropped by backpack, took a shower and went for a walk around town to explore and find dinner. I liked it in the province with its slow-paced lifestyle in stark contrast with Bangkok.

I was going to take the bus to Siem Reap but I met two travellers, an Italian guy and Argentinian lady, who were also going there so we hired a cab instead and paid 20 US dollars each. Since I didn’t know yet where I’d stay, I got off with them and walked through the streets to find accommodations too cheap that you’d never find them on the internet. I found one at the end of the street from where my two companions were staying –their place has been booked up—and got a room to myself for only $10 a night.

I rented a bike that cost only $1 a day and spent the afternoon and evening exploring Siem Reap with it. I was extremely scared whenever I went on a busy street because I’ve never ridden a bike in a long time. But I was determined to overcome my fear so I went on. When I got tired of roaming around, I found a cozy place to drink and people-watch before I headed to the evening market.

The next day I explored Angkor Wat Complex by bike and spent only $1 as compared to the $10 tuktuk. If you’ve ever been around Angkor Wat Complex, you’d know how crazy it is to bike your way around with all the muscle pains afterwards because it is so huge! Still, I had so much fun exploring it by bike because I could enjoy the scenery better and it made me feel more attuned with nature. The second time I went was with colleagues, we had our tour guide provided by the Parliament and a comfortable ride but the experience was nothing compared to the fun I had with my bike.

I’ve always been fascinated with ruins and the nostalgic feeling I get when around them. And by nostalgic I meant that feeling of deeper connection with the past, the wisdom that ruins exude and the amazement at the sight of a masterpiece. I was particularly thrilled to visit the spot where they shoot the film Tomb Raider in Ta Prohm.

My most adventurous experience though happened on the way back. It started raining and there was no sign of it ever stopping. I was concerned because I have my passport and DSRL camera in my backpack but if I would wait for the rain to stop, it may not stop until dusk. I placed my passport inside the camera bag and wrapped the bag with the scarf and placed it at the bottom of my backpack. I then stacked the chips and souvenirs on top, hoping heavens that the bottom part will remain dry. I pedaled and stopped to rest then pedaled my way back for almost two hours before I reached my accommodation.

I was exhausted. I can no longer feel my legs. But I was extremely happy. For some reason, the experience felt extremely liberating. My passport was safe. My camera got a little wet. The rest of my bag was wet but I didn’t care. I was happy and I never felt as alive in a long time. I took a long warm bath and took some rest before I headed out to have dinner and hopped in the bus that left Siem Reap at midnight and brought me back to Bangkok before lunch the next day.

One of the best things about traveling unprepared is that you are forced to talk to people. I was thrilled at the idea of letting things unfold without giving much thought into its preparations but I was more thrilled to be interacting with people. Humanity is indeed full of kindness if you open your eyes to it and especially when you are a stranger at the receiving end of another stranger’s benevolence.

My spontaneous Siem Reap trip was one of my most unforgettable experiences. I didn’t spend time planning it so there were no unfulfilled expectations, no overthinking or what have you. It was all spontaneous and because of that, it was filled with surprises.

Let your soul take refuge

The last few days have been extra challenging for me. I’ve had 8AM-8PM classes that left me exhausted. I am sick with cough and cold. My head feels like I’m carrying an extra pound between my shoulders. Yet, I had to drag myself and go to school.

There have been some internal chaos as well. My sense of compassion has been put to test but leaned towards failing. Such internal battle, more than anything, left me paralyzed I ended up wasting precious time which I should have devoted to studying for next week’s final exams.

In my hopes to catch up with studies, I came to this coffee shop early. I’d probably be here for the rest of the day. The café just opened. I am their first customer. When I entered, I was greeted by worship songs so familiar every beat of my heart knows the lyrics. After giving my order, I sat in a corner and just let the music soothe my soul.

I am not an atheist because I still believe in a power greater than anything that’s holding up the universe. However, for several years now I stopped associating myself with any religion though I was born and baptized as a Roman Catholic. I evolved into a being that values spirituality more than religiosity. Besides, all religious teachings boil down to the same values of love, respect, compassion and so on.

So, I am doing away with the religious practices. I don’t go to any mass, albeit I try as best I can to manifest my spirituality through my actions towards others. Right now though, these Christian songs touched me in an oh so familiar way. My restless soul suddenly calmed down as if a storm had just stopped and everything around is quiet.

It’s a feeling I don’t want to interpret or analyze using my religious skeptic mind. I just want to savor the moment while it lasts.

I gave my hubby a huge floral bouquet

Our life can get extremely monotonous at times it feels as though we are treading a long winding tunnel with no end in sight. Whenever I feel this way, I try to think of quirky things to do that can fire up my day.

It was a chilly spring afternoon. I woke up from a nap. My then boyfriend –now my hubby—was still asleep. It wasn’t an ordinary day sucked up by monotony. Rather, it was a happy time of being reunited. However, at that moment in time I felt a tinge of melancholy because I was going to leave him in a few days’ time and go back to work in Bangkok. I couldn’t even make it to his birthday which was only two days after my departure. While I sat by the window, I gazed at him breathing calmly in deep slumber then I turned my gaze outside where the grasses and trees were beginning to enliven springtime.

I wanted to make his birthday special even without my presence but not in a typical way. Suddenly, I was struck with an idea. He would never have guessed that on his birthday, a bouquet will be delivered at his doorstep. I immediately placed my order online before he woke up.

Andddddd the big day came! We were talking on Skype. The buzzer sounded. He bid adieu thinking it was his friend Mark who came to have lunch with him. But to his surprise, it was the delivery lady handing him the sweet smelling bouquet of orange daisies, roses and lilies. He came back online right away to share with me his confused reaction which amused me to bits. He couldn’t quite find the exact words to express how it made him feel. He was of course happy but he seemed to be feeling something else that he cannot put a name on.

I guessed it was because men are not used to receiving flowers. Most men spend their lifetime never getting one. Whilst women love receiving flowers, men – those very few who experienced being given one– may just don’t know how to actually react. It was an interesting experience for me as well to find out how men are when it comes to receiving presents normally given to women.

Someday, when my day becomes another draining monotony, I would do it again. I’ll hand him the bouquet and see how he’d react myself.

What about you? What bizarre things do you do when life is a standstill?

It’s okay if all you did today was breathe

I once saw a quote that said, “it’s okay if all you did today was breathe”. I keep reminding myself of this piece of wisdom whenever I feel anxious for not being “productive”. What does it mean to be productive anyway? Ahhhh, it’s the same as asking what it means to be successful. There are no definite answers but many people struggle in going beyond what society portrays as being productive or successful.

Movies show us people juggling several things at the same time. A woman cooking and looking after the baby while talking to someone on the phone. A working lady jumping at one meeting to the other, folders in hand and a cup of coffee on the other. There are meetings over breakfast because the day is too occupied that the only time to squeeze that one meeting is during breakfast. We have been conditioned to adapt to this lifestyle to feel a sense of belongingness to the “productive” group. We are made to feel that life is wasted or that we are lazy if we are not busy.

The problem with this never ending ‘busyness’ though is that it deprives us of precious time for reflection. It’s so easy to get caught up with the habits of multitasking and feeling productive but at some point, we would realize that we are getting nowhere. Many people have reached a point of identity or emotional crises after suffering from burn-out and realizing that their constant chase for productiveness has brought them no meaning, no sense of purpose, and no clear direction for the future.

As I lie in a hammock, feeling the breeze against my cheeks and listening to the chirping birds, I thank heavens for the opportunity to be still, to breathe in life and hear my soul speak. I wish I had done this more often before. I was caught up with the overly glorified busy lifestyle that I neglected time for reflection and retrospection. I learned that such ‘busyness’ had, in fact, blurred my idealism. I began to question and got skeptical about so many things, thinking they were the problems of the world, when in fact the problem was me and my lack of direction and sense of purpose. Ticking my to-do list was not the same as having a life purpose. No matter how much I’ve accomplished in a day if I don’t spend time to reflect and redirect myself towards the right path, those daily accomplishments were nothing but futile.

The shallow sense of productiveness has resulted to plenty of outputs but most of the time has never brought quality outcomes. That’s why it felt like living in circles, doing a myriad of things day by day but never reaching a milestone. We owe it to ourselves to spend time to just slow down, to just breathe. Maybe during these moments of silence, our sense of purpose will be crystallized, our direction made clearer and our daily pursuit of productiveness will no longer be barren but full of promises and meaning.

The day I circled Divinubo Island

My previous work and even life at grad school involved a lot of traveling and most, if not all, of those destinations were packed with tourists. This is what made our trip to Divinubo Island special because we were the only tourists in that small island town. Within a day, we were able to circle the island, climb at the old lighthouse and drink fresh coconut juice while interacting with the locals.

Divinubo Island is only 15 minutes by boat from Cogon Lalawigan in Borongan City, Eastern Samar. If you are lucky to catch the scheduled boat trip, the fare is only PhP14 (approx .28 USD) per passenger whilst special trip costs PhP300 (6 USD) per way, though after 6PM it will increase to PhP500 (10 USD). There are two resorts in the island though when we were there, both were unable to accommodate us so we slept at a hostel in the city and went to the island the next day. The island is so tiny it only takes 1.5 to 2 hours to circle it.

The locals knew we were tourists the moment we docked on their shore (the island is small after all and everyone there might know everyone) so they suggested we take a guide who could lead us to safer tracks. Our guide was 72 years old Manong Moloy. We gave Manong Moloy PhP300 as a gesture of thanks for his time and generosity. He pointed to us the areas affected by typhoon Yolanda in 2013. We also saw the on-going construction of accommodations. I can imagine that in a few years’ time, the island will be flocked with more tourists.

Divinubo is not what I had expected at all. I imagined an uninhabited island with just infrastructures catered for tourists. On the contrary, Divinubo island is, in fact, a small town with a primary school, several houses both native and modern, wooden and concrete. The island’s beautiful surprises, however, are found around it. We went at low tide, the perfect time to explore. The scenery was beautiful and I extremely enjoyed watching schools of fish on hollow areas with clear, turquoise water. My iPhone’s photos can never do justice to such magnificence but here are a few of Divinubo’s beautiful scenery.

Tips: Circling the island involves climbing on the rocks and walking on slippery areas so wear appropriate footwear. Travel light. The sun can be extremely hot so wear a hat if you are lazy to bring an umbrella. And never forget your sunscreen!

Meditation retreat at a forest monastery

Photo by Fong Kin Houng

“I want to live like animals, careless and free like animals. I want to live. I want to run through the jungle the wind in my hair and the sand at my feet…” the song went on and on, set on repeat mode, as I cleaned up my dusty room the moment I arrived from my 5-day meditation retreat; the same way I listen to it now while I write. It has been over 2 years since I went up to Ubon Ratchathani, northern Thailand to meditate at Wat Pah Nanachat – International Forest Monastery yet I can still remember how I felt then. It takes 10 hours to travel by train to Ubon Ratchathani so I decided to take the evening train to reach there in time for breakfast. That way, I can eat at the temple for free and slid myself into their daily routine.

I emailed the monastery to ask for permission to stay there and gave them my schedule. I was surprised at the swift reply. The train from Bangkok has an air-conditioned cabin with bed. I brought a book to read in case I can’t sleep. After a few pages into the world of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy, I closed the book and looked out the window, gazed at the starry sky. I used to use the pseudonym stargazer in my teenage years. The noisy sound of the train gradually became a lullaby as I fell into a deep slumber. I woke up before sunrise and was amazed at the view when I looked out the window. We were passing along a farm, then thick bushes, then a barren land; such beautiful greenery of plants and trees. I was enveloped with calmness and contentment at the sight of the simple and peaceful life at the countryside. I silently gave a prayer of thanks.

The monastery is surrounded with quotations like this
Photo by ธีรรัฐ เชี่ยวสกุล

Getting off at the train station was a bit chaotic with people in a hurry pushing their way through the crowd. The atmosphere was the same as any other province, less dense and chaotic as Bangkok yet still busy and noisy. I could not wait to get into the monastery. Upon entering the entrance of the monastery, I could see trees lined up on each side of the road. They were high with thick canopies. It was as though we were entering into a forest. After all, Wat Pah Nananachat is called the International Forest Monastery. I felt a sudden change of emotions; the calmness and contentment I felt upon waking up engulfed me once again.

Photo by Mitchai Khankaew

As I have anticipated, I reached in time for breakfast. The only female meditator, Li from China, ushered me into the dining area. Breakfast was the only meal we can have each day so everyone ate as much as they can though we had to keep in mind that we cannot waste food so we were to take only what we can finish. After breakfast, we helped in cleaning the area. Soon after I went to meet the monk to be briefed on the rules of the monastery. It was rather simple, not really rules but a set of daily routine and guidelines. We were to wake up at 3AM to join the morning chant and meditation. Afterwards, we were to clean our designated area. Mine and Li’s was the chapel nearby. Though we swept it every day, there were always lots of fallen leaves around because it is surrounded with trees. We were in a forest after all.

Just some of the food; there were much more! Thais are very generous at giving alms to the temple
Photo by minxianlim

Breakfast area & kitchen
Photo by 余锦盛

The temple we cleaned every morning. I also meditate here.
Photo by 余锦盛

After cleaning we helped prepare breakfast brought by monks from their morning alms round then we cleaned up the kitchen afterwards. I also experienced cleaning the toilets. After all the morning chores, the day is ours to spend. Since it is a monastery that welcomes meditators and not a formal meditation retreat house, there is no rigid schedule nor meditation coaching. I realized that eating only once gave me enough time for other things. It felt extremely liberating to not think about meal time and the confusion that came with it over what to eat.

The first thing I do after breakfast was take a shower. We did a lot of cleaning in the morning so I wanted to freshen up before going to the chapel to meditate. I could not sit for hours and hours meditating so after an hour or so of sitting meditation, I would go for mindful walk though most of the time I would just nap at my kuti. Every afternoon at 4:30PM we were to go back to the kitchen to enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. Soon after, we were to attend the evening chant and meditation. One of my best moments at the temple was watching the rain as it washed over the trees, its droplets create a ripple once it touches a small swamp while holding a hot cup of coffee. In that instant I realized how simple happiness can be.

Inside the temple where I meditate
Photo by Fong Kin Houng

Only Dhamma books were allowed in the temple which we can borrow from their mini library. I also had to surrender my mobile phone. We were to dress in white shirt and white trousers and were not allowed to wear jewelry, make up and perfume. The women’s walled quarter was far off from the men’s, and was as usual surrounded with lots of trees. Walking from there to the temple for the 3AM chant was a scary experience but I made it anyway.

Path towards the women’s quarter
Photo by minxianlim

Women’s kuti
Photo by minxianlim

Main sala or meditation hall
Photo by 余锦盛

In the evening, I found it difficult to sleep because of the noise created by crickets and other forest insects. Sometimes I could hear a sudden thud on the roof of my kuti. I also later read from a blog that the kuti where I stayed actually had a dead person’s ashes on it! So glad I didn’t know while I was there otherwise I would have gone mad! Though it explained why I could not sleep and felt strange in it at night. At first I thought it was because I was uncomfortably sleeping on the floor with just one tiny pillow (not complaining, just wan’t used to it). I read a lot of Dhamma books before bedtime where I developed a deeper understanding and appreciation of Buddhism. I found Buddha’s teachings practical and easier to grasp.

One evening we sat with the Abbot, a German who’s been a monk for over 20 years. In Buddhism, it’s so easy to understand the hierarchy among the monks. Those who have been ordained the longest sits at the top of the structure. During that session, we were allowed to ask questions. One novice asked, “How can you forgive someone who wronged you if you can still feel the pain?” His answer was something I had not heard of or read before. “If you think about forgiveness, you are placing yourself above the person. That is your ego getting in the way. Let go of your ego. Let go of the pain. That person may be suffering himself anyway.”

As the day of my departure approached, I found it more and more difficult to leave. I knew I was there to learn about letting go of attachment as one of the tenets of Dhamma but I was growing attached to the place. Probably because ever since I can remember, it was the first time I experienced being so at peace, contented with the life I had even if I only ate once a day. I woke up each morning not thinking about any worries, unfinished work nor the future, there was no internet and constant inundation of information.

Life was at its simplest at the temple. The daily routine may seem boring but on the contrary they made my day stress-free as I didn’t have to fuss over what to do next or how to make my day productive. Going through the routine especially the sweeping of the leaves at the bot (women’s meditation hall) was extremely therapeutic. It made me understand why a lot of self-help books suggest having a morning routine; it makes it easier to go through the rest of the day once our mornings are stress-free.

Photo by Pornthip Sanguanmoo

Photo by 余锦盛

Photo by Fong Kin Houng

Photo by 余锦盛

Inside the main sala or meditation hall
Photo by Fong Kin Houng

My experiences during meditation sessions were rather too personal so I shall not be writing about them. However, I have to say I was not able to empty my mind of any thoughts even for a split second; meditation is not about that so there is no need to pressure yourself into achieving such a state. I struggled at first but as the day progressed I began to feel at ease. At the temple, all the negative emotions I was feeling gradually disappeared. Even past painful memories that still hurt whenever I remember them didn’t hurt anymore no matter how I tried to provoke myself into feeling the pain.

My experiences at the monastery were one of the best I’ve ever had; the emotions it made me feel, the stories shared with fellow meditators, and the opportunity to live in a forest. It was the only time in my life when the past and the future didn’t matter at all and I wished that feeling will stay as long as I live. Unfortunately, things are always different in reality, though what I felt at the temple were also real they just didn’t stay that way. Still, I am forever grateful that I experienced how it felt.

Wat Pah Nanachat (Wat = monastery, pah = forest, nanachat = international) was founded by Ajahn Chah to enable foreigners who do not speak Thai to enter into monastic life. Most of the monks at the monastery are foreigners. The monastery practices Theravada Forest Tradition.

P.S. I lost all my photos of the monastery so I used other’s photos instead. Lesson learned, always have a backup.

 

My ‘I cannot do’ list

Whilst many people have their ‘list of things to do before turning 30’ or ‘1000 things to do before I die’ or what have you, I on the contrary have a list of things I was sure I cannot do. One these things is knitting. Strangely, I already concluded that I can never knit even before I got my hands on it. Just by looking at a knitted sweaters or a scarf, I could not imagine the intricacies of making such a masterpiece. I thought, even if I could make one with the guidance of a teacher I could never do it the second time around on my own, so why bother? It was my colleague who made me realize how wrong my assumptions were.

We were in a taxi, stuck in traffic in Bangkok. Me and my colleague went to the Thai Immigration to process my visa renewal. Knowing that we will either have to wait for a long queue at the Immigration or get stuck in traffic, she brought her knitting materials. It was in that moment while waiting for the taxi to move an inch that I intently watched her knit, her hands skillfully moving along with the needle and yarn. It was then I realized it isn’t so difficult after all. In fact, it looked super easy! Surprisingly, I also felt so relaxed just watching her knit. It felt as if all the stress I was feeling suddenly disappeared, washed away by a wave of calmness.

Scientific benefits of knitting

I decided I will try to learn how to knit. Before I left the office that day I searched for knitting shops in Bangkok, determined to start right away. It was then that I stumbled upon articles about the scientific benefits of knitting. I learned that knitting is indeed therapeutic and is in fact included by psychiatrists as among the activities they give to clients battling with mental issues. A woman who suffered from depression also recovered with the help of knitting. It is the process of making something, of seeing it coming close to completion, of seeing progress each day that makes knitting a good outlet for those depressed or felt stuck in life. Also, the process of using both hands when knitting improves motor functions and cognitive health.

These new discoveries made me even more excited to learn how to knit. I already felt the calming benefits of knitting by merely watching someone else do it so there is no doubt I will enjoy doing it myself. Indeed, knitting became one of the best things I loved doing. It puts me into a meditative mode. Instead of scrolling on my phone when I am free, knitting provided me moments of online detox. Here is one of the scarves I knitted which I gave to my cousin as a Christmas gift. I was so thrilled to see her wear it in her trip to Paris.

It’s been over a year since I stopped knitting, when I moved to Australia for grad school. It was only now when I saw my cousin wear the scarf that I am reminded of my love for the craft. I shall find myself purchasing some good yarn anytime soon and knit again. Oh, and I shall review my ‘I cannot do’ list as well and see which ones I can start learning. I’ve already ticked knitting off and now I am in the process of learning how to drive a car. Life is full of possibilities and the way to start is to change our mindset that we cannot do things.

Before you quit your job, go travel

Few months ago I spoke to a friend who wanted to quit her job. Quitting is not difficult but what made her hesitate was that she hasn’t found a new job yet. Many people experience such quandary especially with our constant use of social media nowadays, it’s easy to compare our life with that of others and feel we need to be somewhere else or having something else or whatnot.

What I noticed though from our conversation was that whilst she was determined to quit her job, she didn’t know what she truly wants to do. She had several options in mind but she didn’t have clarity on how to make the transition. She wanted to pursue entrepreneurship but she didn’t know what products or services to offer. She wanted to pursue the arts but that would mean starting from scratch. These aren’t all bad things, after all a lot of people succeeded by taking risks. In her case though, she didn’t have enough savings to support her through several months which scared her from quitting.

Another thing I noticed in her is that her frustrations weren’t all coming from her job. We all experience some bad days at work and at times people –who may just be going through tough times – are rude. Sometimes routine jobs can get painfully boring. At times problems arise one after the other leaving us burned out. But there are several ways to deal with these circumstances and turn things around if you have the proper mindset and positive attitude. The challenge comes when the problem isn’t the job itself but us. That’s when I suggest you travel.

Traveling has its way of healing whatever negative feelings we carry. If we are so bored of a life of routine, traveling breaks this monotony and stimulates our senses. The experiences we will encounter while traveling can melt negativities away. Traveling can remind us that there is more to life than feeling bitter and unhappy; that there are things far greater than ourselves but that what we do – no matter how menial it seems sometimes – contributes to a bigger picture, to a larger cause.

For a lot of people though, money can be a hindrance to traveling. However, as the cliché says, “we work to live not live to work” so if you reach a point where you feel that life was sucked out of you then money should not be so much of an issue. You are not going to spend your hard earned money extravagantly anyway because going for a short trip should not be expensive. You can travel to a nearby place or a different country, it’s all up to you. There are a lot of information available online on how to reach your destination without breaking the bank.

Back in 2011, I was suffering from burnout. It seemed as though I could not feel any positive emotions. A delicious meal doesn’t taste good. I keep blaming work for my unhappiness. One weekend, I traveled to Chiang Mai up until the borders of Myanmar. I went on full online detox while traveling so I can fully savor the experience. It was only for two days but I felt significantly better. On my way back to Bangkok, I took the train because other than it was way cheaper than flying I just love long train rides; it gave me an opportunity to pause and just enjoy the countryside scenery.

If I didn’t go on that short trip up north and committed to undergo an online detox, I would have resigned from my job in no time. I was glad I did. I felt rejuvenated after. When I came back, I also removed my work email from my phone and noticed that I felt more relaxed and positive after.

When my friend confided to me about her urge to quit, I told her to travel. And so travel she did and now she is still working at the same job. When she is not working, she is out strolling at a nearby park or traveling to nearby provinces. With camera in hand, she captures the beauty around what seemed like a mundane place to those who only exist.

21 days self-love challenge

Tomorrow is the day when love is celebrated across the globe, Valentine’s Day. Regardless of its historical accounts, Valentine’s Day as we practice it in modern time is a day for couples or for people with someone to love; so much so that it has become the day when roses and chocolates get so expensive. Those who are single often joke that they’d join the firing squad because they don’t have someone to spend it with. For me, I want to celebrate Valentine’s day this year differently.

Few days ago, I collapsed after jogging for less than 15 minutes and a week after I was down with fever and body aches. I realized I’ve been living an extremely unhealthy lifestyle and needed to look after myself better. According to one of my favorite books, it takes 21 days to create neuro-pathways that develop a habit. So I shall call this exercise the 21 days self-love challenge where each day I would devote 2 hours for self-nourishment, which is 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the evening. If you’re up for the same challenge, join me! It will be fun sharing our experiences.

Here’s how I will schedule my day but of course you can start at a time of your choosing.

6:00AM – wake up time, drink ¼ cup pure calamansi juice (strictly no water or it becomes acidic)
6:15 AM – sit for 15-minutes meditation
6:30 AM – yoga for 30 minutes
7:00 AM – my normal day can begin (shower, coffee, breakfast, etc)

Throughout the day, I will also make sure to drink a lot of water, pause for a quick 5-minute meditation whenever I feel the need for a break and increase my vegetables and fruit intake.

My evening self-love routine will start at 9PM because I want to sleep by 10PM; that will give me 8 hours of sleep.

9:00PM – gadgets away, read a book with warm milk or chamomile tea
9:45PM – sit for 15-minutes meditation
10:00 – lights out, zzzzzzzz

It’s a pretty simple morning and evening routine, really, but it will surely take much discipline to follow. I know I will regret not doing it and my alter ego is not very kind. So fingers-crossed, tomorrow is a new beginning and if there will come a day that I’d fail, I’ll just start back again. Join me! Join me!

Calligraphy by Alma May Hilot Pilvera

In the last few months I spent interacting with people from different backgrounds, two dominant personalities stood out. It’s probably because I am at a point of identifying a new path so I paid particular attention to these traits.

The innovative
A friend who developed a farm in a small island said that when they began, it was impossible to farm in the area because the soil was too sandy. But that problem didn’t stop them from achieving their plan, instead they created the soil through composting. They then placed retaining walls to keep the soil from eroding.

Another friend works online, her only source of living. She found that coding skills could get one more jobs at higher rates. Unfortunately, there are no coding courses available around where she lives so she took free online coding courses instead and practiced by herself. She isn’t there yet but she definitely is a few steps closer to her goal. It’s still better than nothing at all.

My cousin is planning to get married in 2018. These days, calligraphy is a huge thing when it comes to wedding invitations and signage. Due to high demand, commissioning one to do the calligraphy can be extremely expensive. A set of invitation with watercolor graphic and calligraphy text can cost PhP300 (approx. 6 USD). So instead of paying a hefty amount, she decided to learn calligraphy herself! In fact, the photo above is her very first attempt and yet it looks pretty already! How cool is that? Way to go May.

The slacker
These are those who have future plans or knew what they want but are putting them off for a later time. I’m not saying this is always wrong. I understand there are certain things that should be set aside because there is a right time for them. However, in some circumstances, utilizing available time to prepare for the much-awaited perfect moment can be essential.

A friend went to grad school without any idea for his dissertation. He said he will figure it out when he gets there. When he started the first semester, he said he will figure it out the moment he takes the dissertation course. When he finally got down to writing his proposal, he realized that he needed ample amount of time to review existing literature and do preliminary readings on the issue he wanted to work on. He panicked and regretted not doing some readings during his free time before he started school.

Another friend wanted to be an entrepreneur. She was envious of her entrepreneur friends who seemed to have it all figured out and have full control of their time. Whenever she is not motivated in her job – which happens most of the time by the way — she would say things would have been different if she is an entrepreneur. Finally she resigned from her job, took a few months vacationing and then the much awaited “right time” presented itself. However, the painful truth dawned upon her that she doesn’t know what to do yet, which field she will venture into or what services she will offer. She spent additional months doing research which made her feel trapped into a web of challenges and uncertainties until finally when she is able to identify the business she wanted, her savings have been exhausted and she need to work again to save for the capital. Not only that, she needed some skills for the business so she has to spend the weekdays working and the weekends on short courses to gain those skills. Had she spent her time in the past preparing for the right moment, she would not have started from scratch.

Stories like these remind me of the cliché that the only thing that’s fair in this world is time because we all get the same amount of it. The only difference is how we use them. I’ve had my share of confronting challenges to achieve goals as well as periods of procrastination. What matters to me now is that I am becoming more aware of the things I want to invest my time into. I can never bring back time I’ve wasted but what’s important is to live the present moment and make the most out of it. This is something I want to remind myself every day.

A Taste of Interior Design

I’ve always had this interest in interior design stemming from my love for all things pretty although it’s not until recently that I’ve actually got my hands on it. My cousin asked me to furnish her empty condo and told me specific things to buy so I’m not so sure if I can call that interior design. But since it left me so giddy to see an empty place transform into a pretty habitable one for the first time, then pardon my misnaming the process. Besides, even if I was told what items to get and she was the one who decided which one to buy after I sent her photos, I am happy to say that she picked all the items I recommended except for one furniture. Here are some of things I learned from the process for those of you who have no experience yet.

It’s not all pretty work
I like looking at pretty interior photos on magazines and online but it never occurred to me that the process to achieve such a masterpiece can be painstaking. When we arrived at the condo, since it was my cousin’s, the first thing we did was clean up as it has gathered a lot of dust from more than a year of being left aside. I then proceeded to the first step of the work which is to get ideal measurements of the furniture. That part is easier but looking for the ideal designs that came with those measurements is the tricky part. It would have been a little easier if we have some stuff custom-made but that’s out of the question at that point and since the condo is in a city that I am not familiar with, it’s also difficult for me to find and manage the carpenters. I made do with what’s available after exploring several malls and furniture shops.

It is important for the client/owner to be able to visualize your ideas
Before I went window-shopping, I bought a red masking tape to outline the size of the furniture at the spot where they will be placed. This will ensure that my cousin who is now in California is able to visualize how big or small they are and how much space is left for her to move around once they are installed. I sent her not only measurements of the furniture but also the distance between them. I also had my companion stand on those spaces so my cousin can get a better perspective. When I had photos of the furniture from various malls, I placed them over the photo of the empty condo so my cousin can imagine how the area will look like once the furniture is there.

 

 

Harmony is key to achieving a cozy ambiance
There are several elements to consider in interior design and I must confess that I don’t have background on any of them nor made the effort to actually learn them prior to working on my cousin’s condo. I just trusted my instincts and well my eyes. I made sure things are in harmony with each other. To do so, I made sure the colors are not in contrast with each other which is why the condo ended up with gray, white, brown, black and a bit of accent colors. I admire designs that are bold with red and black colors or lively with rainbow colors but oh how my eyes hurt when I see houses that have a mixture of different colors and patterns (imagine a blue patterned floor tiles, pink patterned curtains, and green and yellow patterned sofa all in one living room!). My cousin’s personality is one that speaks of classic elegance hence the choice of those colors for her condo. I also have to credit my mom for suggesting a gray curtain, which placed everything in order.

 

 

I know my experience was very far from the real interior design thing and that it didn’t give me much knowledge and skills to qualify for a career change but still I consider it essential to my growth. It made me able to exercise my creativity on a level that considers and meets another person’s preferences. It allowed me to navigate an area that I don’t know much about but that didn’t stop me from making things happen.